This is what my bed looks like right now:

       


Which excludes this: (the shelf)



And this:



...
All of this shall be organized into nice categories.
...
But now I am going out with Heather.
And will save the fun of categorizing for later.
Or I shall no sleep (in my bed).

The top most line on my bed is a combination of fictions, memoirs and otherness.
Below it from left to right is religious, anything similar to plays and poetry, philosophy then history.


This will take a while.

Clear Things Up?

And I've had people comment asking why I never update....
Here's a banner explaining why you can't see my entries.



So comment me,
Explain who you are,
And if I like you-
You can see all the wonderfulness that is my journal.

Cheers!

Here's my issue.
I had an ASSHOLE of a customer today who nearly had me in tears.
I was very, very close and to date, after FOUR years of being a waitress, I have never cried due to a customer.

Okay;
Right off the bat this guy, his brother and his mother were jerks, expecting me to drop everything that I was doing in order to clear a dirty table so they could sit there.
This was the ONLY dirty table in the entire restaurant and simply because it was located in the window, they had to have it.
They were bitchy that I took too long getting their drinks because I had to wait on customers other than them as well.
So I take their order and they call me over twice to ask me where their food is.
Um, cooking?
Anyway, they get their food and a few minutes afterwards I ask if they need anything.
*here* is the appropriate time to ask me for anything and give me any complaints.
So the bitchy lady asks me for new water for her tea stating that it was never hot and was too cold for her to have any.
She probably could have told me this after I GAVE her the tea if it was really so cold.
My guess is she let it sit too long.
Then, seeing as they had no issue, I let them alone to eat, like any good waitress will.
When it comes time to clear their plates, the man absolutely FLIPS on me.

1. He says that his eggs Benedict was too hard.
2. He also states that my attitude sucked,
3. That I never went back to check on him,
4. And I never gave him a refill.

1. All eggs are cooked medium unless specifically told otherwise because some people fear getting sick from undercooked eggs. He never told me he wanted them any way other than how they typically came.
2. I basically left them alone.
3. Um- did. Testament to this would be his mother's new tea.
4. HE NEVER ASKED FOR ONE

So I told him that I would take the meal off the check and he said 'Yes you will' and then continues to rephrase everything he had just told me.

I get my boss to take it off and my mother tells me to breathe. Like I really needed that useless bit of input. I realize that she was trying to help, but no.

The man pays by credit card and on the slip that he's supposed to sigh he writes "*Talk to your server about her problems." and under 'tip' he writes "Pathetic Service."

Needless to say. I wil never EVER wait on him again if I can help it.
I have never been so close to telling a customer to fuck off to his face than I was in that moment.

Friends call friends just to say goodnight,
Yes?

McAlinden Outline and Intro.
McAlinden Draft One- Tuesday
McAlinden Draft Two- Thursday
McAlinden Final Draft- May 8th Thursday
Reynolds Lab
Reynolds Final Exam May 8th Thursday 11:00-1:00
Hooker Transition Project
Hooker Article One- Past Due
Hooker Article Two- Monday
Hooker Sketch Book- May 5th Monday
Hooker Carving Project-May 9th Friday 2:00-4:00
Skoble Paper
Ierardi Paper- May 12th Monday
Ierardi Final Exam May 7th Wednesday 11:00-1:00
Devlin Paper- May 2nd Friday
Devlin Final Exam May 9th Friday 11:00-1:00


I suppose this means I will live through this semester after all.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Travel
2. Have children.
3. Something to do w/ my father.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Tara
2. Tarie
3. Tartar
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. RingosGarden
2. MyDesolationRow
3. CuomosRiver
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Eye(s)
2. Scars only I know about.
3. Random freckles.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Irish
2. French Canadian
3. Passamaquaddi
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Obscenely small spaces.
2. Open water.
3. Serious commitment.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Warm water.
2. Clothing.
3. People.
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Shorts.
2. Underwear.
3. Tank-top.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Bob Dylan
2. The Beatles
3. Everclear.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Strawberry-Everclear
2. I Shall Be Released-Dylan
3. I've Got A Feeling-The Beatles
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Compatability.
2. Fluff.
3. Understanding.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. I value my friends more than my family.
2. I like being alone more than I do being with people.
3. I'll still listen to boy bands.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes.
2. Humor.
3. Interaction with others.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Reading.
2. Writing.
3. Listeing to music.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Decide.
2. Let certain people know how much I care for them.
3. Fix.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. High-School Teacher.
2. ...that's about it.
3. Box living?
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Scotalnd.
2. Ireleand.
3. England.
THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Joseph
2. Johnathan
3. Josiah
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. Sometimes I like dressing up.
2. I cry at movies.
3. I go with friends to the bathroom to rant about guys.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I like sports.
2. I complain often about girls.
3. The color pink scares me.
THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. Whoever is bored.
2. I stole it from Bill
3. So feel free.

1. Do you have a tattoo?
2. How old are you?
3. Are you single or taken?
4. Fish?
5. Do you dream in colour?
6. Ever seen a corpse?
7. How about them hipsters?
8. How did we meet?
9. What's your philosophy on life and death?
10. If you could do anything with me, and have no one know, what would it be?
11. Do you trust the police?
12. Do you like musicals?
13. What is your fondest memory of me?
14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
15. Would you cheat?
16. What are you wearing?
17. Have you ever peed in a pool?
18. Would you hide evidence for me if I asked you to?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Which do you prefer - short or long hair?
21. What's your favorite day of the week?
22. What's your favorite color?
23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be?
24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you?
25. What was your first impression of me?
26. Have you ever done drugs?
27. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

I haven't written in my actual journal for a good week now.
A cross between being busy and being lazy.

I had my first two classes today.
Renaissance with Fortunato.
Erica's in that one.
We met in ECC for breakfast.
I've taken a similar course with Fortunato,
And she's using some of the same assignments,
So she's going to have me do some different from the class.

I also had government.
I'm not too sure how I feel about the professor.
He's new to campus.
I don't know.
Seems okay.
Just something about him that I'm not too sure on.
Andrew and Ashley are in that class,
And Andrew came over after to see my room.

So tomorrow it's music and baseball.
Music starts at 11:00 and baseball after.
Looks like I might sleep.
Or at least have the time to.

Alan Alda on monday.
I have to skip Ethics so KT and I can get to Boston in time.
But,
It's Alan Alda.
So worth it.





I've realized that I need to spend more time in the company of people,
Rather than being a loner.
Whatever my issue,
I shall need to find a cure.

And maybe everyone has been right for the past however many years.
I need to open up more.
And talk.
About what it really on my mind.
Instead of hiding what I really think and feel.
Not be afraid to show emotions?

...easier said than done?

So my Nana is spending the weekend in my room,
And I get my brother's bunk.
This morning she looks around and says
"You really like this Bob Dylan guy, huh?"
I laugh at her, saying "you have to know at least one some by him"
I play some of his music,
And she knows "Blowing in the Wind"
But informs me that she has it sung by a group,
Which she likes better.
That "this Bob Dylan fellow sounds like a hick."
Ooh,
"He sounds old and he sucks"
And,
"He sounds like one of those 60s protestors who should have been shot. I didn't go along with those hippies and love children and shit."


I almost died laughing.
If she wasn;t my Nana,
Or someone of her likeness(oldness)
I would have argued them to no end.
Brought up all his statistics.
Amount of songs he's had covered.
Sales made.
Years recorded.
Quotes about him.
Quotes by him.
I believe that only 3 years ago I would have done that anyway.
Instead I held my tongue and laughed along with her.

Just for reference,
I happen to be wearing a Dylan shirt while typing this.

I love my Nana.

I looked at me schedule and have decided,
That I do not want 3 history classes again.
Because I didn't enjoy it this semester.
On top of a Poli-Sci Class?
Seriously-shoot me now.
So,
I want to swich it up with a philosophy one,
Seeing as I have none for next semester.
So-
Medieval Philosophy or
Ethics and Action?.

I think either would be fun,
And I'm pretty curious about the Ethics one,
It's a facinating Subject.
But maybe I should try a different professor?
I'll need to in the future,
So it wouldn't be a big deal...
And I'd need that class (or one like it) if I major in Philosophy
...Which I probably will...
I don't know.
Thoughts?




On another note...

3.28

I suppose that's what I get for taking a class with Seylon,
After being warned not too.
It wasn't difficult.
I just couldn't focus.
And I wish I could kick myself.
Hard.
I could have had an A in that class if I tried.

In other news...
Since I lack internet at home,
I'm at the library to check my mail.
I got a B+ in Oral Interpretation,
So that makes an A, A-, B+, B, B, and B-
Blah.

Eric,
I'll get on that book list.
I need to find my thumb drive to upload it...
You'll get it.

Congrats to all you highschoolers who are in finals.
You're almost done.

Does anyone happen to need any books to read over the summer?
Because I am OCD like,
I actually have a list of every book I own excluding text books....
So if interested,
Give me your e-mail and you can see what I have, I suppose.



On another note.
I have read 4/11 books that I had lined up for this summer.
So...
I'm taking suggestions.
Seeing as at this rate,
I should be done semi-soon.

I have recieved...

An A in US history
A B- in World History
An A- in Writing II.
A B in American Revolution
And a B in Symbolic Logic?????

...well that was certainly unexpected.
And seeing as I was the only freshman in my 442 American Revolution class,
I'm pretty stoked over that.
...and since I didn't take notes or even pay attention in World History, I suppose I must deal with a B-. Anything over a C- counts and so far I believe I'm still on track with a 3.3 GPA. I could be wrong. I was never too good at figuring that stuff out.

Now all I have left to find out is
Oral Interpretation of Literature.

Well-
Almost.

Monday I have an english paper revision due and my oral interpretation final.
I chose this poem by Lawrence Ferlinghetti...

The World Is a Beautiful Place

The world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don't mind happiness
not always being
so very much fun
if you don't mind a touch of hell
now and then
just when everything is fine
because even in heaven
they don't sing
all the time

The world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don't mind some people dying
all the time
or maybe only starving
some of the time
which isn't half bad
if it isn't you

Oh the world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don't much mind
a few dead minds
in the higher places
or a bomb or two
now and then
in your upturned faces
or such other improprieties
as our Name Brand society
is prey to
with its men of distinction
and its men of extinction
and its priests
and other patrolmen

and its various segregations
and congressional investigations
and other constipations
that our fool flesh
is heir to

Yes the world is the best place of all
for a lot of such things as
making the fun scene
and making the love scene
and making the sad scene
and singing low songs and having inspirations
and walking around
looking at everything
and smelling flowers
and goosing statues
and even thinking
and kissing people and
making babies and wearing pants
and waving hats and
dancing
and going swimming in rivers
on picnics
in the middle of the summer
and just generally
'living it up'
Yes
but then right in the middle of it
comes the smiling
mortician

Along with a selection form A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. If you have yet to read that book, you're missing out. Dave Eggers is a pretty talented man.

After that I have a final on tuesday in Symbolic Logic. I have yet to finish the take-home portion, so that should be fun. And by fun I mean extremely tedious. Improbable, yet not impossible. Oh dear.

Moving some stuff out later tonight. My brother has a baseball game at six, so I will be picked up at some point after that. So out of BSC by 8:30esque. Grand...

Tired as ever. Little sleep last night. Paper on Joseph Warren and an 8:00 final, and then an 11:00. How does that work? The final starts earlier than the actual class...
But I suppose this means 4 things down,
And 3 to go.
Odd how I wont see some of these people for 4 months.

I was told yesterday that my Uncle Freddy died.
He had been sick for a while and expected to die about 2 weeks ago.
I guess he died five days ago though.
I love how my family hides shit from me.
If something ever happened to my immediate family,
I seriously wonder how long it would take to get to me.
I've been told that bad things happen in threes.
I never believed this, but my Uncle Freddy makes number 2 after Nikki dying.
At least we knew about Uncle Freddy, Nikki was a shock.


I'm sitting here at my desk with my Bible that I was given when born in front of me. A children's Bible, complete with pictures of God punishing Egypt, displaying his numerous powers, and much more. I've been reading more and more from it as of late. I'm really not quite sure what it is that I'm looking for. Possibly just a small reason to not lose any faith. I don't attend church- I never really have. I've thought about starting to attend, but I'm not sure that it would be beneficial to myself at all. I believe in God, but I was never taught to. It's funny how things like that happen. My mother and step-father have lost all faith in the world, and I just cannot do that. For when you no longer hold faith, what do you have left?

I feel the need to be continuously reassured that what I do in life actually means something, but it seems as if my friends have lost faith long before now. Most of the people whom I am close to only went to church because it was something that their parents instilled onto them. Maybe it's better that I had never been forced into anything, or maybe I'm simply grasping for something that isn't there.


Last semester I took a course with Dr. Fitzgibbons which spoke on truth. How something is either true or it is false. That God either exists or he does not, either way, someone is wrong. I suppose this view must be true, I mean, something cannot exist and not exist at the same time. Within the course he spoke of valid arguments, and any argument for the existence of God seemed to be invalid. I suppose it is indeed possible for an invalid argument to be true, but then how would one argue it as such? If my evidence that God does indeed exist, to me, is that it says so in the Bible, which by tradition, is the word of God- that would be considered invalid. Yet how else would I prove his existence if I cannot see him and have no concrete proof that he is indeed there.

I fed the homeless at Mainspring House in Brocton today with Rich. It was completely spur of the moment, he wanting someone to go with him, and me procrastinating on school work. It's pretty eye opening if you've never done it before. I've read this book called "Another Bullshit Night in Suck City" which is about homeless shelters in Boston (among MANY other topics.) It's a memoir and a great read, I recommend it to anyone. I believe that Debby said she's read it. It just makes me think- what was God's plan for these people?


Maybe I just need to start sleeping once again.
That would probably do me well.
Trying to fall asleep at around 3:30-5:30,
And not falling asleep for about an hour+ after that is starting to get to me.
Hence this rant.
Props to whoever reads this,
But it's pretty much just so I can get it out of my head.
It's a sad day when I realize that I'm too lazy to keep an actual journal.
It's been about a year since I had.

Well-
Here's to tomorrow.
Peace, Love,
And God Bless?

Seriously.
I hate having free time.
I'm an odd person.
So sue me.
I need structure.
None of this "I don't need to go to bed before three or set an alarm clock" shit.
I'm not me without a schedule.
The other day,
I walked to the beach.
Just because I felt like it.
...0.o


Heather and I snuck aroung MHS today.
It was pretty fun.
Talked to Thomas a bit.
Was accosted by Miss Ah.
I really can't stand her.
She's too fake.
Heather spoke to Trainer.
Palladino ran into us in the hall.
When she asked my major I think I might have cringed
"History"
"*squeal* Good for you! If you need any help with anything, you can e-mail me. You have my e-mail right, epalladino at...."
Blah. Blah. Blah.
Sure,
I like her, she has good intentions
But.
Quite annoying?
We talked to Smalley For. Ever.
He doesn't like to stop talking much.
I like him though.
He's amusing.
If I was into Psych, I think I'd study him.
Ms. Goode ran by.
She hugged us both,
and left.
I need to e-mail that lady.
Eric walked bye.
He should be happier.
I miss seeing him happy.
Well,
I miss seeing him at all.
But he used to at least act happy.
I want to see him happier more.
I Literally ran into Debby.
I think I frightened her.
Oh well.
It was worth it.
We were going to see Dr. Smith when we ran into Mr. Williams.
He told us to go get passes,
So we left.

Went to the mall.
Friendly's.
The Hostess asked us if we would both like adult menus.
Oh,
Life.
How I do love thee.

Sitting at my computer.
Listening to Matchbox.
Kinda between watching Scrubs and Jeopardy.
Answering AIM sendings.
Laughing at my 10 year-old brother doing homework,
And singing to Black Eyed Peas.

And thinking.

I've stopped writing poetry since break.
I think my mind's catching back up with me.
I should start that again soon.
At least for the moment,
this can help a bit.

/peace